i was looking up gay marriage and i just
She cut off the tattoo of he ex’s name, put it in a jar and mailed it to him.
A tip from your favorite nurse
(that’d be me)
Always have eggs in your fridge
You just never know when someone will split their head open
Or cut their finger while cooking
And so on
See that membrane there?
While the blood is gushing - hold pressure and crack open an egg
Peel that there membrane off and put it on the wound (continue holding pressure)
The membrane will harden and keep the wound closed until you can get to the ER for stitches
If you even need them that is
Nature: 1, Band aids: 0
I did some research on this (because I do that now, fucking science get out) and it seems that this was done in the early 1900s somewhat frequently. It was used as a way to treat just about any kind of skin wound, from burn to cut to in at least one case an ulcer. It actually helps the wound heal not by preventing blood loss but by replacing part of the skin tissue and helping it grow.
It also helps in healing scars and reducing their visibility.
Also, if you have a splinter, smack one of these things on there and it will draw it out of your skin. No more shitting around with pliers.
it will also suck the poison stuff out of mosquito bites and stop them from being itchy
woaaah i didnt know!! awesome stuff :D
Did not know the mosquito bite or splinter thing! EGGS—IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN’T DO?
They cant fix the economy
I want to try all these now….
the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)
I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!
With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said.
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations.
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.
This a million times.
aaaaand to add onto the list of problems with the original post, it’s also ableist because the artist’s like, “lmao i’m gonna make an edgy, revolutionary comment on ~modern language~ and how it’s devolved since the time of SHAKESPEARE and REAL LITERATURE by using speech impediments as a punchline” ‘cos wow, it’s not like there are people who struggle with speech disorders and wouldn’t appreciate being treated like a joke!!
If you pull me on your lap there is a 101% chance I’m going to make out with you.
i would advise you to avoid santa
idk why everyone says “when pigs fly” when police helicopters are a thing that exist
I’ve saved this since March to post.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU YES YES YES I WAS THINKING THIS TODAY TOO I POSTED IT EVERYWHERE
(bites lip sexily but really im just trying to peel this piece of skin off)
you have been visited by the great rei. like for 2 year of good luck. reblog for 7 year good luck.